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DEATH interview final part

from Interview with DEATH by Olli Tooley

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Lots more vital questions for the anthropomorphic personification of death, including "What is the meaning of life?", "Do you do requests?" and "Who would win out of the current world cup squad and the 1966 world cup winning squad?"

lyrics

Reinier Smedding asks; “Is God real?”
All religion is true, for a given value of true
George coulter asks, “what is the meaning of life?”
the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death
Kate Lynn-Deverre wants to know if there is chocolate and ice cream after death.
The afterlife is whatever you believe it to be.
So, you get whatever reward you believe you deserve no matter how moral or immoral you’ve been in life?
Yes
Well where’s the justice in that?
There is no justice, there is just me
Joe Dudziak asks if you’ve finished using his hedge trimmer
Oh nag, nag, nag! I’ve told you joe, I’ll finish when I finish
I’m given to understand that you have a rather large collection of books.
Yes, the biographies
Now, taking into account L-Space, could someone with a large enough library find their way to your library?
They would need to be an exceptionally good librarian. I daresay no human could manage it
Stephen Shelton askes if you do requests
Alas, while I do own a violin, I have been reliably informed that I play abominably
I think he meant death requests
Ah, I see. In that case, first of all that would be highly unethical, and second of all, the decision of who dies is not down to me, even if it were, your world is not within my purview
Who would win a football match between the present England squad, and the 1966 World Cup winning squad?
That would be a close game, but I think the present squad, by a single goal.
Really? The 1966 squad had some dazzling stars. Jimmy Greaves, Bobby Charlton, Bobby Moore, Alan Ball, Gordon Banks in goal? Is it because you think the old team wouldn’t be up to date with current rules?
No, it’s because Bobby Moore and Alan Ball are dead, Banksy lost an eye, and they’re all in the seventies now.

credits

from Interview with DEATH, released November 7, 2017
Olli Tooley, and (let's be honest) Morton Tooley as DEATH.

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Olli Tooley Ilfracombe, UK

I was the lead singer in 'Led Zep Too' a Led Zeppelin tribute band for 7 years.
Then I spent a short time in Martin Murray's Honeycombs.
More recently I have turned my hand to writing and have decided to try offering my next audiobook on Bandcamp so I can keep the price down ... more

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