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Introducing DEATH

from Interview with DEATH by Olli Tooley

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about

Having performed the Rite of AshKente, Olli then chats to Death about his recent holiday on XXXX and books for the beach
He goes on to ask some questions on behalf of co-presenter, Simon Dawson.

lyrics

Transcript.
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Did it work?
I don’t know
Did what work?
Well there’s our answer, we have a chair for you here, I’ll leave you guys to it
I am… very confused
Just take a seat
Hi, Death, thank you for coming
You summoned me using the Rite of AshKente, it’s not as though I had any choice in the matter
Yes, yes, sorry about that. How was Halloween for you then?
Halloween?
I was actually enjoying a lovely holiday on the beach in XXXX. As ever, I have been summoned at a most inopportune time
Oh, right, sorry.
So, you were on the beach wearing a full length, hooded, black robe?
Well, it’s not as though I need to work on my tan, is it?
Of course. Well welcome to the Book Club with Simon Dawson and Olli On The Radio. We’re always interested in talking about books, umm what’s that you’re reading?
It started out as the “Biography of General Tacticus”, but while I was lying on the beach, it appears to have turned into something called “The Omega Conspiracy” I tried a mystery novel once, but it seemed a little pointless to sit through the whole mystery when I could solve it by reading the last chapter first
That can happen. We’ve got a couple of questions from listeners, but first off, Simon wanted to know; will you accept a bribe, and if so, how much?
I have no need of mortal money, unless I fancy a curry, so a bribe will not sway me. it is, however, common knowledge that you can challenge me to a game for your life
Has anyone ever won?
A few, Granny Weatherwax challenged me to a game of poker for a child's life and all I had were four ones.
Ones? You mean Aces?
No, they were definitely ones. If they had been Aces, then she would have lost, and the child would have died! and me with her knowing granny
Oh … Oh yes, I see…
Another quick one from Simon.
One more!
You can see everything that has ever happened and everything that is going to happen, right?
Yes, it’s a right pain in the coccyx!
Can you tell him next week’s lottery numbers?
He’s had his one more question. Move on.

credits

from Interview with DEATH, released November 7, 2017
Olli Tooley and DEATH of Discworld (with a certain amount of assistance from Morton Tooley)

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Olli Tooley Ilfracombe, UK

I was the lead singer in 'Led Zep Too' a Led Zeppelin tribute band for 7 years.
Then I spent a short time in Martin Murray's Honeycombs.
More recently I have turned my hand to writing and have decided to try offering my next audiobook on Bandcamp so I can keep the price down ... more

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